It's a Girl!

Usually when you find out whether you are having a boy or a girl, it is a joyous occassion.  Clothes are bought, names are thought of, and thoughts of the future are exciting and hopeful. 

Today we found out that we were having a little girl.  The baby that lived inside me for 15 1/2 weeks was a sweet little girl.  Except, there was no celebration, no clothes were bought, and the only thoughts about the future were "what could have been".  I cried today, wept today, and longed for the daughter that I will never know.................until I get to heaven.  I know she will be waiting for me there.  Maybe she'll have pigtails, maybe she'll look like Anne, maybe she'll be funny like John, maybe she'll be as tender as Stuart............that's what I'm looking forward to.  Looking forward to meeting my 3 kids in heaven some day, getting to hold them like I do my 3 precious kiddo's here on earth. 

Today I'm trusting in God.  Today I'm putting my faith in God that He works for good.  Today I'm choosing to be thankful.  Today I'm choosing to thank God for my blessings.  Today I am choosing to be in His presence.  Today I'm choosing to trust in His plan.

"I have a wonderful plan for your life.  But you may not always understand that plan.  Sometimes My blessings come to you in mysterious ways: even through pain and trouble.  I use tough times to teach you more about Me.  I can use trouble at home to help you find peace and comfort in Me.  I can use a disappointment to teach you that there is joy in My Presence.  You won't always understand, but you can learn to trust that I am always good."  (an excerpt from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young).